Friday, September 11, 2009

Logbusters. Join me!

The incesent yelling didn't typically phase anyone dumb enough to be slapping away behind three walls of four foot steel and clothe. Someone must have left a window open overnight as the fog that normally clung to the walls, and padded the air was no longer a deadstop for the overwhelming downslide of the last few weeks.

Being the level headed prizefuck that Josh was, the increasing rate of colorless volume that usually fell victim to his booming phone voice and his jackhammering keystrokes were bleeding through. It's difficult to ignore something when it has made itself comfortable on the side of your inner ear...

Josh pretended to like art. He had to in order to maintain that special something that the tasteless army ants of the office wanted a bite of. Right now, the back of his eyes were etched and stained permanent. Sex never fell under: Offensive for Josh, but on display for his eyes only was now a shit he couldn't kick away. He hated the shotty sidewalk patch jobs...Is this what's it like to be fucked??

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Make It Rain

L: I saw the way you were just looking at me...

JC: Huhn?

L: I said I saw the way you were just looking at me, buttlips...

JC: What does that even mean? I'm trying to relax...

L: You are so full of shit. I've been around long enough to recognize hungry eyes when I see them. You wanna get messy, big boy?

JC: You think you're getting to me, don't you? If you're implying what I think you're implying, we just bbq'd last night...and two days before that.

L: You're making this way too easy...what did we eat again? Bratwurst?

JC: Yessssssss...

L: I distinctly remember you saying you couldn't ever have enough sausage in your life, no?

JC: We aren't bbqing again, ok!

L: Listen, when you get to a certain stage in existence, it's ok to take the road less travelled...

JC: Exactly! No more bbq this week!

L: Hahahaha. Am I being insensitive?

JC: What in the heck are you even talking about?

L: C'mon!...just let me put it in your butt?

JC:........

L:....Facefuck??

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jQjdHUX2T4c

Monday, June 1, 2009

Broad Shoulders

They thought it was blood. A man covered in blood shouldn't be that out of the ordinary considering the crazy shit I've seen go on this beautiful metropolis...Three months, two days and I'm not wearing my watch today.

Already late to meet zee boys for drinks, this bench looks like a good place to sit and shit myself proper. The doc couldn't give me what I needed so here sits the superhero, plain clothed, saving 'everyday' the trouble of forced emotional palliative care...

Get up and keeping walking you poor baby.....

"Red wine gives you a killer hangover duuuuude"..."I don't know why you drink that frenchshit?" Your head pounds and it feels like you spent the night tucked under the arm of your suppressed Roseanne Barr fantasies. Embarassment aside, Roseanne is much lighter than multiple exit wounds and two lungs full of your own blood...no?...yeah, much less heavy.

Three officers lost their jobs. Three months, two days, 4 hours and 3 minutes...the anglican church is only two blocks from my weekly tough guy sandwich. The clock tower tells my late ass to walk faster and asks me to forgive every little squealing piggy on this legoland.

I don't understand why I'm not floating down these sidewalks?? I am going to kill a human being very soon. He's going to swallow every adolescent memory of alienation and unchecked agression he ever benched.

My local haunt has a red white and blue neon sign out front.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WatgnzGsmfA

Friday, May 29, 2009

Cloud Dancing

JC: Why in the heck would you do something like that?...I thought we were co-oping this thing!?

L: It's hell dude...H-E-L-L.

JC: Ok, this is exactly why we've had so many falling outs!

L: I fell hard one time...Can we cut the shit and get to the meat, please?

JC: 7 days, dude! 7 days! Everytime you give me advice about chicks I lose my mind. You really know how to work a room huhn?

L: I told you to wait it out. I told you to wait it out because, not only will she beg for it apres l'ignorance, but it'll give you some much fuckin' needed cache...loser.

JC: Are you listening to me??? It's been a fudgin' week!

L: She's swine anyway, bro...

JC: She's actually an angel.

L: That's fucking gross. Come get me when the jews start getting slaughtered again.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6mbX8Ud-q68

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Sippy Cup

He woke up every morning eating sinus backwash and living in a headache that made even the inviting aroma of the financial district (just outside his window...beautiful view) feel aneurysm-my.



Josh hated being young and professional. He hated looking at his homomag cover boy face in the mirror every morning and couldn't understand why his grooming habits had become so important to his morning/lunch/evening routine..............................Josh's girlfriend liked to suck dicks. She actually fiended for it. Unfortunately this desire was not limited to Josh's spout and he was constantly faced with the idea that, whether it be at the front door, a romantic dinner, or returning from a business trip, her lips might taste like some other guy's pecker. Her name is April...like the month...and yes, she is blonde.